Kultur4

German lessons:
1. Stay off of the bike path. Bicyclists always have the right of way and if you are there, not riding a bike, you will either get run over or get yelled at in the most fitting German fashion. Quatsch! Like the article says, these paths were specially made by and for people who love the ride bikes, so if you wander on to the mini-autobahn, you just sentenced yourself.
2. The little red man is the boss. If you are crossing the street at an intersection, do not do so unless the little guy tells you that you can. Again, if you violate this act, you can expect to be remanded by the German people in the most typical fashion. Idiotisch! Do not be a bad influence on the children, because then it becomes serious. Also, no matter how far away the cars may be, if you cross they will accelerate to try and beat you there, or they will slam on their brakes or swerve while honking so that everybody in Germany knows what you did. Listen to the dictator...
3. German logic is not your logic. Asking the right questions is important, because the answers will always be literal and never presumptive. If you want to get a ticket onto the next cheap train to Berlin and to know when it leaves, you ask, "When does the next cheap train to Berlin leave and how much does it cost." Simply asking one part of that question separately will get you a completely different answer and probably get you to Frankfurt, or, you may get to Berlin sometime tomorrow in first-class.
4. There will be no free rides. The subway in Germany is on the honor system. So, yes you can ride if you do not have a ticket, however, you better expect to pay for the trip. Of course, if you are a "Schwarzfahren," you will be paying with a hefty fine and some intense social stigma. Once those doors close, fare-dodgers are trapped and the ticket you did not buy will be laughing at you along with everybody else. Playing the dumb tourist will not help you.
5. The Einbahnstrasse game. Not everything is in Ordnung, despite the obsessive tendency that Germans have for order and organization. However, if you see the sign "Einbahnstrasse," you need to know you are entering onto a one-way street. So, please, please, please, do not go the wrong way. No matter how confusing it may be, or how ridiculous it may appear to be, follow the signs, beat the pedestrians who ignore the little red dictator, stigmatize those who ride free, yell at the people on the bike path who do not have a bike, and use the most literal, non-presumptive you can. No matter how annoying these things may be to you, if you visit Deutschland you will want to blend in.